I don't know what to say....

[x_rahne]

I was crying today, but 'tisn't anything to do with being a mutant or remembering how I manifested. That wasn't really so bad. Not after some of the stories... I thought it was awful then, but I didn't know any better, I'm sorry.

Nobody where I grew up had really paid so much attention -- we didn't know what mutants were, at least not like this. I think some who were far enough along in school had seen it in biology books, but not about... anything like this.

We'd heard about werewolves. It didn't quite fit; it was only near the full moon when the headaches came, but almost at the end I turned to a wolf because it hurt -- I didn't know how -- and then Reverend Craig fell down, and he'd thought I had a demon, and when he came toward me once he got up I was afraid and ran away.

I shouldn't have run; they didn't hurt me much, not after they caught me and saw I wasn't fighting. They only put me in an old zoo cage for a while so I couldn't hurt anyone if I went mad. And they let me out, even if they were still nervous, once I found out how to change back.... Reverend Craig had even brought a silver cross, because if I'd been a werewolf like the stories, well.... But I wasn't, see, because the silver and moon and things didn't work the same, and being a wolf didn't make me want to kill anyone.

I oughtn't to have been so upset. I'm sorry.

I'm very grateful I didn't hurt anybody.

Comments

[x-rogue.livejournal.com]

It's alright to be upset, Rahne. And there's no comparing, okay? Everyone has their own story.

I think it would have been horribly scary to have been you at that time, not knowing and not understanding and not being able to tell anyone what was going on with you. It must have been really frightening. It'd make me cry, that's for sure.

Don't say that you shouldn't be upset. Being upset about this stuff is normal. I think most of us spend a ton of energy not being upset. :p Don't get down on yourself, okay?

[x-rahne.livejournal.com]

I couldn't have told anyone what was going on if I'd been able to talk, anyhow. But I could have said I wouldn't bite them.

I don't mean to complain.